I’m here in my home town of Vancouver, BC Canada sitting in a Starbucks writing to you on a Monday morning.
I’m drinking my Green Tea and thinking of the 3 Invisible Signs that keep business owners stuck, frustrated and confused on how to grow their business.
Fear Of Rejection.
Fear Of Rejection.
Fear Of Rejection.
Okay, so maybe just one thing. Lol. But it’s TRUE right?
In my first year of business this was really hard for me. I’ve learned to “manage” it now, since I can guarantee you it will never go away.
I used to think…
“If I talk to that person about my business, they probably won’t take me seriously because I’m not making much money myself!”
“What if this person thinks I’m selling them, and the conversation gets weird!”
I started digging into why this happens, and what I can do to overcome it.
If you’re fearing rejection, it’s stemming from something deeper than just someone rejecting your business.
You’re really fearing them rejecting you.
Like the time you wanted to ask out that guy/ or girl and they shot you down. OUCH.
Like the time you had a great idea in class at high school, raised your hand and shared your idea only to have the entire class and teacher laugh at you. STUPID IDEA.
Like the time you wanted the brand new Barbie doll or GI Joe as a child and your parents told you, “No we can’t afford it.” I NEVER GET WHAT I WANT.
Are you starting to understand?
You’re walking around with an incredible business to change peoples lives while dragging behind you five suitcases packed with the fears of rejection from your past.
Why?
Because somebody shot you down.
These are the invisible signs that you fear rejection.
I call it our shadow beliefs. The great Carl Jung said, “the shadow is all the parts of ourselves we would rather not be.”
In other words, you’ll avoid doing the “work” to sign-up people into your business because of the rejection from your painful past.
Maybe you started your business because unconsciously you felt “Success will bring you happiness.”
The truth is, until AND ONLY until you learn to dig into these invisible signs of your fear of rejection you’ll struggle to change your life.
Invisible Sign #1
You’re A People Pleaser.
If someone rejects you, then chances are it will shatter your world of that person liking you. Removing your people pleasing status quo.
So the voice goes off in your head, DO NOT TALK TO THEM ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS!!
Stop this. I have plenty of people that hated and rejected me at first. Now they love me and can’t thank them enough for helping them get life changing results.
Invisible Sign #2
You’re The Nice Guy/Girl
You have the facade of being super nice. Never pushing people, never getting into confrontations, and avoiding challenging conversations.
Life is a bowl full of cherries!
If you’re doing this, you may be afraid of people seeing you as anything but NICE.
Challenge people and stop being so nice. Don’t mistake being nice, with caring. You can still care for people, but challenge them on why their broke, stuck, unhealthy and frustrated.
If you’re feeling this, you’ve likely had an experience in your past of voicing your opinion only to be shutdown by someone you cared about.
Invisible Sign #3
Living In Your Fear Story
You’re projecting into the future all the possibilities of NEGATIVE and PAINFUL emotionally charged feelings that could happen IF you bring your business up.
Notice I said IF. Because it hasn’t happened yet. You’re projecting the outcome before it’s even happened.
I find this most common inside our industry.
Go in with a “neutral” outlook. I don’t like to go in with a negative or even positive potential outcome.
I go in with a neutral outcome because this allows me to not be attached to a specific yes or no as to whether they’ll sign up.
You’ll experience A LOT less of an emotional roller coaster ride with this approach.
Well my time is up at Starbucks and my butt is sore from sitting! Lol
I’d love to hear your comments and thoughts on your biggest take away.
Please like and share with your friends!
In gratitude,
Ryan
