Do you ever feel like your life is a never ending-battle?
I’ve purposely held off from going deep on my blog. Like way down the rabbit hole. But I feel the time is right, and if you’re open enough this will make a massive impact on your life.
What I’m talking about here is super simple….
Your Healthy Ego VS Your Wounded Ego.
The wounded ego feeds off feeling better than the next guy or gal, being prettier, smarter, sexier, skinnier, richer, more desirable, more educated, or more powerful.
It craves more and more of whatever it believes will make it feel as good as or better than the next guy.
As children, roughly from the age of 4-5 we have both counterparts in tact. We can experience the full range of human emotions without the labels of good or bad behaviour. Everything just “Is.”
Ever notice how young kids don’t care if they’re judged? They can sing and laugh in public and they don’t care! Ever see an adult do that?
Then, by the age of five we begin our split. We go through the challenging process of learning duality. Good vs bad. Fat vs skinny. Dark vs light. The list goes on and on. This leads us to separate our healthy ego and create a wounded ego.
Because the wounded ego feels incomplete and inferior without it’s healthy counterpart, it is constantly comparing and assessing how it is doing, how it’s holding up in what it perceives to be the battle called life. This is why you can feel that life’s always handing you a sh*t sandwich.
When the ego is wounded, it desperately tries to repair itself by creating outer circumstances that will make it feel better.
What does all this mean??? Somewhere along the line someone told you that you’re a bad girl, you’re a stupid boy, you don’t deserve success, you’re lazy, or you’ll never amount to anything. For the first time in your life, you experienced a negative association with the full range of your human emotions. You linked “being bad” with pain.
Now, anger, jealously, hate, frustration, or any other supposed “negative” emotion was deemed bad. So you began your journey at a young age for the search of becoming a “good” person. And if you did something “bad,” you would be judged.
If your life feel’s like a never-ending battle it’s because your wounded ego is trying to find a way to connect back to your healthy ego.
Our wounded ego falls into a trap. Believing it’s damaged and flawed, it thinks it’s inherent worth exists on the outside to feel whole, happy, and powerful.
Some egos believe material “things” will prove their worth, others through self-love and seduction, while others find ways to create money and power to try and bring themselves back to wholeness.
The nature of the emotional wounds that caused the split in the first place will determine what each person’s ego will seek to relieve it’s pain. It does all of this in hopes to satisfy its hunger and meet its need to feel loved and approved.
The wounded ego will have us chase money, even if it means robbing, cheating or lying to achieve it. Maybe power is the cure, landing you a secure job as the head honcho to control and manipulate others. All of these acts are done in hope to feel loved and approved of. What the wounded ego only wants.
Here’s the tricky part on why often we feel life is a struggle. Consequences are not considered from our wounded egos, because “the split” leaves us arrogant or distorted between fantasy and reality. Which sucks, because we become blind to our own behaviour!
THE COSMIC PARADOX: We cannot see our behaviours. We become a slave to our own wounded egos distorted desires.
The challenge becomes no matter what the wounded ego achieves, it will always fall short. This is because the fulfillment our wounded ego is searching for on the outside, only exists in the inner world. It’s ultimately seeking to return BACK to it’s healthy counterpart, the healthy ego.
Our damaged egos live for love, acceptance, and approval whereas our higher self is whole, pure and authentic and doesn’t want or need to be more.
Let’s understand both
THE HEALTHY EGO
- It’s perfect. Whole. Complete. Doesn’t want for more
- It is unlimited, pure and authentic
- Never has to look for anything on the outside
- It doesn’t care if it’s recognized or noticed
- It’s happy just as it is and has no judgements towards itself
THE WOUNDED EGO
- Feeds off recognition
- Wants the big prize at all costs
- Basis it’s fulfilment and happiness on outer experiences
- On a continual quest to prove that it’s more important, respected, admired, and successful than everyone else
Here’s the Secret, we need both. Both the wounded and the healthy ego work together. It’s not about eliminating or changing the “bad” parts of yourself. It’s about embracing them and using them as your gifts. I recommend you read up on my “Projection” post. This is one of our only ways to discover how the wounded ego is controlling our lives.
Since the wounded ego only wants to be loved and reunited with it’s healthy counterpart, the more love and awareness you can bring to your wounded ego the less you’ll feel life is a constant battle, and you’ll begin to enjoy all aspects of life being connected with a purpose from the divine.
If you insist on living as a SMALL expression of your TRUE Self…
You will have to work in jobs you hate with people you can’t stand
Smile when you don’t feel like smiling
Get extra degrees to prove you’re smart
Wear clothes that are too tight to get some attention
Cheat people to convince yourself you’re successful
Have sex with people you don’t know or don’t love
Push around those weaker than you
Blurt out racial slurs
Get into relationships that break your heart
Pretend you’re nice, when you’re not
Keep your mouth shut when you feel like speaking out
Indulge in addictions that destroy your spirit
Blow up business deals
Puff up your feathers and pretend to be something you’re not
Spend money you don’t have
and suffer the pain of being your own worst enemy
What’s your take on this?
In Gratitude,
Ryan
