Well, this is fascinating! Do you ever find yourself mindlessly scrolling the Facebook news feed on autopilot?
The other day I caught myself! There I was, scrolling through Facebook and avoiding emailing back a potential client. Facebook (and social media in general) has become the ultimate avoidance tool. A while ago, I started to observe the way I would mindlessly scroll through Facebook, all while consciously knowing I was avoiding something in my life.
Ah, YES! Facebook is such a wonderful avoidance tool!
As of September 2014, Facebook was worth $200 billion. When it comes to business, our generation’s fear of rejection has become so intense, we’ve mastered the art of avoiding our emotions by temporarily numbing our pain through social media. We know we’re in avoidance, but can’t stop the addiction to this superficial platform.
Don’t get me wrong – Facebook is amazing for business. But it is a superficial way of connecting with people. We express the parts of ourselves we deem acceptable on social media, but hide the parts of ourselves we’re insecure about, ashamed of, or afraid to share with others out of fear of rejection.
Most people are far too afraid to express their vulnerability, so we only see one side of people’s lives…the highlight reel. When was the last time you read a status that said, “I haven’t had sex in 3 months!” Nope, we only get to read about how amazing people’s lives are (for the most part). But the vulnerability…oh yeah…that’s the connection piece. It requires you leaning into your fears of expressing your true self.
I became really good at hiding my secrets from Facebook over the years. Over the last several months I’ve done so much work on myself that I FINALLY had the courage to post this vulnerable video with my significant other. For me, it was a complete “oh shit” moment of vulnerability!
Your money piece is learning to be vulnerable and speaking your voice of truth. That’s where people will connect with you. I talk more in detail about this in my ebook ‘The 9 Network Marketing Personality Masks.’
I have been an entrepreneur for eight years, and a transformational coach over the last seven months. Do you want to know what most of my clients do when they’re bumping up against their fear? Scroll Facebook. Instagram and YouTube are the runners-up.
This is how the pattern may run for you:
YOUR POSITIVE IDEA:
You get inspired by thinking of your goals and dreams. You want to take action, talk to people, and share your products or services. This is really motivating to you! You feel inspired by the idea of changing your life and helping others.
YOUR NEGATIVE FEAR:
Then your fear kicks in. You think, “What if I get rejected? What if this fails? What if this is a waste of time? What if people don’t like me if I bring up my business? What if this gets awkward? I’ve failed in the past, so why would this be different?”
YOUR UNDERLYING COMMITMENT:
These feelings of rejection kick in your underlying commitment of emotions. Maybe you feel shame, guilt, confusion, resentment, anger, frustration or overwhelm from the idea of taking action. This stuff runs deep. All limiting beliefs are created when you’re under the age of 10. If your fear is really strong, you’ll simply procrastinate and then turn to Facebook to try and avoid the guilt or shame linked to your lack of action.
YOUR COMPARISON:
So you scroll Facebook, hoping to make yourself feel better. You search for inspiration, humour, or gossip, or watch videos in hopes of numbing your guilt or shame of not moving forward in your life and your business. But what you’re really searching for is connection. REAL deep connection. And you’re trying to get that through a superficial platform. Even crazier, you look at people worse off than you, thinking, “Well, I’m not as bad off as that person.” Or you look at profiles of people you admire, hoping to externally build up the confidence in yourself. Then the cycle begins again, once you feel motivated enough to live out your dreams.
This emotional roller coaster is a big part of why Facebook is a $200 billion company. We’re addicted to avoiding our emotions, and Facebook is there to save us.
The following are a few signs that you’re using Facebook as an avoidance tool for running away from your fears, emotions, and actions in business:
- Feeling Guilty – You mindlessly scroll the news feed while feeling guilty about your lack of action.
- Afraid of Speaking to People – In public, you use Facebook as a tool to avoid speaking to people in real life.
- Feeling Depressed – You are hoping a motivational post or video will cheer you up.
- Feeling Shame – You want to see what others are doing so you stop thinking about your emotions.
- Superficial Connection – You justify your Facebook scrolling as “business building” time.
- Bored or Confused – You are completely unconscious and are surfing Facebook for no reason.
- Not Present – You don’t give your partner quality time because you’re “always on your phone.”
My line of work is about making the unacceptable, acceptable. Or making the unconscious, conscious. Taking action on income-producing activities is a habit, just as scrolling the Facebook news feed is a habit. If you’re fearful of speaking to people about your business (online or offline), you have to go into that fear.
Your breakthrough is always on the other side of your resistance. It’s learning to be comfortable with your fear and being with your fear, not running away from it. My life started to dramatically change when I embraced my fear and found the gift in everything I was resisting.
Here’s a few action steps you can apply to change your ability to lean into your fear instead of avoiding it:
- Go Into Your Guilt – What do you feel guilty about? Guilt is directed outwards, saying, “I should have done something different.”
- Lean Into Your Fear – Get uncomfortable speaking to people about your business. Fumble around with failure.
- Take Up Meditation – Our internal world is a reflection of our external world. Heal what needs to be healed from your past internally.
- Go Into Your Shame – What do you feel shame about? Shame is directed inwards, saying, “Something is wrong with me.”
- Get on the Phone or in Person – Real connection happens by leaning into your fear of authentically connecting with people…not superficially connecting.
- Hire a Coach or Join a Community – Get direction and accountability, and put support structures in place to honour your growth.
- Set Boundaries – Life is short, and real connection is more important. Set boundaries of when to get on Facebook.
Ready to radically change your life and business by embracing your fear of rejection, receiving money or self-worth?
Book your free 30-minute breakthrough coaching call with Ryan now!
===> CLICK HERE to Book Your Call
With Love,
Ryan Yokome
CEO | Money & Miracles
Breakthrough Coaching
Ryan Yokome is an internationally recognized expert in the field of personal transformation. He is the CEO of Money & Miracles Breakthrough Coaching and the co-founder of the 12-Week Soulful Money Masterclass.
Ryan’s innovative and unique coaching training programs guide people to achieve their goals and dreams by overcoming their limitations, fears, and money blocks. Ryan uses a process to help others overcome their insecurities and procrastination to unlock the unlimited courage that resides deep within.
Ryan has helped over 100 people reach five- to six-figure incomes working from home through his mentorship. He provides an inner map for incredible transformation to unlock people’s purpose, meaning, and passion in their lives.
